Decorating my apartment was simple — there was already so much graffiti from the crack heads and crust punks who lived here before me that it pretty much took care of itself. Now I have the privilege of possessing an original "Nutinya" as well as a first-print "I did Skeez's mom fer monee" on my wall, complete with visual anatomical references. Both are very rare.
But perhaps I should have put a little more thought into it: The art studio DNA 11 will take your genetic profile, and, for a small fee, render it as "a breathtaking piece of timeless art." Basically, they just print the code on a canvas, but they offer a wide range of colors and design choices. Prices begin at $390 for an 18" x 24" print, but why not just spring for a 36" x 54" for $790?
Once you've chosen your style and color set online, DNA 11 sends you a hyper-stylized "collection kit" with detailed instructions on how to collect your DNA sample that they will eventually use to extract your particular sequence. You then send them back the collection kit via a pre-addressed envelope, and art minions at DNA 11 "1. Extract your DNA and run it on a gel. 2. Capture a perfect, raw digital image from the gel. 3. Destroy your DNA sample," presumably so no gene thieves can make evil clones of you.
Then they digitally enhance and print your DNA artwork on a "high-quality canvas with our in-house Giclee printer," varnish, frame, provide a certificate of authenticity, and send your new piece of narcissistic artwork to you in a crush-proof package.
DNA 11 claims to be the "original creator of DNA Portraits-the world's most personal form of art. We have propelled an entire industry with unique artwork based on genetic codes. [...] We pioneered the application of genetic science in the creation of truly personalized unique custom art. " They also offer accurate fingerprint portraits and their KISS series of lip portraits, which is basically like having your lip print blown up to Mick-Jagger proportions in a garish color of your choosing.
While the depictions of the code itself look interesting, I don't know that I'm so into celebrating myself that I want everything on the wall in my house to relate to or reflect on me. If I really wanted to remind me of me when I looked around my apartment, I'd just start drawing crude depictions of myself engaged in lewd acts, with helpful bubble quotes describing what I'm doing.
Don't give me that look — my apartment has a theme, and I've gotta run with it. Do you have any idea how hard it is to erase phalli inscribed in Sharpie?
Via Geekologie
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