See that cute guy up there? He's our old friend Herpes — I know a few of you out there might have had a run-in with this lil' bugger in the recent past (one in four of you, actually). Now you can celebrate your outbreaks by cuddling up with your very own plush version of herpes simplex type 2, thanks to the dreamweavers at Giant Microbes!
In fact, they've got all the venereal diseases, plus other adorable plagues like the flu, the common cold, ebola, and yes, the black plague! All these lovely pathogens come at an affordable $7.95 — perfect stocking stuffers for the doctor, terminally ill person, or bacterially afflicted relative in your family.
Giant Microbes has been around for some time now, but they've expanded their roster to include general health disturbances like stomach ache, common maladies like bad breath, aerial spreaders like the house fly, alimentary problems like e. coli, and parasites like malaria. In the future, hopefully we can look forward to newcomer models like avian flu and Peruvian meteorite disease!
As for me, I'm just going to settle down with a nice cup of tea, a soft armful of syphilis, and remember the good times.
Thanks to Stephen
Previously:
Comments
Schwazz says:
Try this one on for size.
And then maybe explain for the boys and girls how it's possible to get 80,000 volts of perv-shocking power out of a 9V battery, Mr. Science-Man.
December 13, 2007 8:52 AM
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