Pope declares cloning has 'shattered human dignity;' humans: 'What dignity?'

That pope — whats his name? Popey Poperton the Popeteenth? — says the darndest things. Our know-it-all Big Brother just reported on his latest hilarious proclamations. This time, he railed against the evils of stem cells and cloning — well, I'll let him tell you, it's so much funnier when he says it:

Practices like freezing embryos, suppression of embryos in multiple pregnancies, embryonic stem cell research, the prospect of human cloning and artificial insemination outside the body had "shattered the barriers meant to protect human dignity," he said.

"When human beings in the weakest and most defenseless state of their existence are selected, abandoned, killed or used as pure 'biological material,' how can one deny that they are being treated not as 'someone' but as 'something,"' he said.

Such practices "questioned the very concept of the dignity of man," he said in the speech to the department known as the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith.

Man, is he the next Louie Anderson or what? Get this guy a hot wife and a sitcom on CBS!

The Pope said the Church "appreciates and encourages" stem cell research that comes from sources other than embryos, and given that researchers have made strides in culturing stem cells from skin cells, his points might be softened in the near future.

But the Pope went on to blame the media for creating the "widespread interest in medicine" among the general public, and it was time for the Church to take a stand. Hmmm, the last time there wasn't a "widspread interest in medicine," I think humans tried to cure ailments with bloodletting and wizards.

My favorite part might have come from last Monday, though, when the pope warned the faithful about the "seductive" powers of science, mostly because it brought back bittersweet memories. Oh science, I'll never forget the first time (slightly NSFW) you invited me into your candlelit bedroom and ravished me like the sexy beast you are.

Pope says some science shatters human dignity (SciAm...they got all the good genes)