Woo-hoo! I don't know if I'm more excited about the success of our military's efforts to destroy a wayward satellite because 1) it's a bold tactical, interstellar move, or 2) now we'll get to stop writing about it. Either way, the Navy is "80-90 percent confident" that a missile aboard the U.S.S. Lake Erie took out most of the spy satellite, including that tank of poisonous hydrazine that caused such a hubbub. There's no official video of the takedown, but you can imagine that it went a little something like this:
OK, maybe not. But while the U.S. is proclaiming this a resounding success, China and Russia aren't so pleased. They insist it was a covert weapons test, and the Chinese insist we should share data of what will become of the satellite debris.
China: "You must share data of what will become of the satellite!"
U.S.: "Uh...dude, we blew it up."
China: "Yes, but you must share data!"
U.S.: "Dude, I told you, we blew it up. Safety reasons — totally non-military, bro."
China: "Arrgh! I don't believe you! I'm going to buy more of your debt!"
But foreign nations needn't be concerned about our satellite-killing missiles for long. Rest assured, China, the next time we have a satellite problem, we'll be taking it out with one of these.
Add a comment