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Let's go shock an elephant: Happy birthday, Thomas Edison

070b4_Edison2C.jpg Today marks Thomas Edison's birthday — 161 years ago, "the Wizard of Menlo Park" sprang forth from his mother's womb to overcome an "addled" childhood and claim over 1,093 U.S. patents for items as varied as the light bulb, the phonograph and, er, the concrete piano. How did he manage it all? Well, besides his stunning good looks (pictured left), he employed a dogged knack for invention, a mindless tolerance for pursuing trial-and-error experiments, and he wasn't afraid to let a little thing like a shower get in between him and finishing a project.

But I'll always choose to remember him for his aggressive marketing campaign during the "War of Currents" with Nikola Tesla, wherein he advocated for the benefits of direct current (DC) by electrocuting an elephant. Now that's how you win a format war (I hope you're taking notes, Sony/Blu-Ray).

In 1903, when Coney Island circus elephant Topsy was deemed a nuisance (she went berserk and killed three people, including an abusive trainer who tried to feed her lit cigarettes), her owners planned to have her executed via the traditional method of hanging (seems problematic, but whatevs). Edison, however, saw a chance to appease animal rights activists and create a gangbusters PR event by suggesting electrocution with DC. So they fed Topsy cyanide carrots and lit her up with 6,000 volts.

1,500 people attended the execution and Edison, pre-YouTuber that he was, filmed the whole thing. Check the gruesome vid after the jump:

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Elephants evolve shorter tusks because of poachers

It's rare that you see evolution in action — the only time I've seen it happen is when I evolved larger muscles to fend off all the ladies who find me immensely attractive. What, are you calling me a liar? Fair enough.

Biologists think they might be seeing evolution in action with African and Indian elephants: Both species' tusk size has been reduced dramatically in recent in history. In the last 150 years, tusk length has decreased by half, and Oxford University researchers think it's because of poaching.

Typically, the largest tusks belong on the largest elephants, who use those gigantor tusks to intimidate other males and become successful with females. But with the largest animals getting killed for their tusks, the little guy gets a better chance with the ladies, and thusly his offspring have smaller and smaller tusks.

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